One Little Old Lady Whispered a Prayer

When I listen for it, I can still hear the wavering notes of the old upright piano, and the warbling but exuberant voice of my Sunday school teacher guiding a handful of third-graders, one of them me, through these simple lyrics:

Whisper a prayer in the morning,

Whisper a prayer at noon,

Whisper a prayer in the evening,

To keep your heart in tune.

God answers prayer in the morning,

God answers prayer at noon,

God answers prayer in the evening,

To keep your heart in tune.

Jesus may come in the morning,

Jesus may come at noon,

Jesus may come in the evening,

So keep your heart in tune.

At the ripe age of 8 years, I didn't understand the true meaning of the words in this old-fashioned little melody, and felt a great deal of embarrassment at having to sing it. Opal, our devoted teacher who seemed much older to me than she really was, never appeared to notice that we sang half-heartedly. She couldn't know we didn't really understand what we sang, even as simple it seems.

Her heart was all-in.  My own heart took decades to fall for God like hers did.  Fully, and with abandon.

It took another 20 years for me to start whispering any prayers at all with real faithfulness, and another decade to feel the freedom of crying out to God when nothing else mattered but his holy hand on my weak, human self, comforting and guiding without pause, and overflowing with grace.  Just for me any time I asked.

If little (she stood about 4 feet 11 inches) old Opal could have seen our futures unfold, the smile below those black-rimmed granny glasses would have spread across the soft but deep lines on her cheerful face, and her western Pennsylvania accent would have exclaimed, "Well, bless your heart!" Her greatest dreams came to life through prayers she likely prayed for us every day.

  

Prayer has great power.

Opal never married and had children of her own, so we played that part in her life.  Her desire to lead us youngsters in Sunday school after a long week of pushing a broom in a department store testified louder than her voice, and our simple understanding of all that is holy mixed with respect for our teacher gave us softer soil for the seeds Opal planted to land and take root.

Twenty years later, when whispered prayers began to spill from my own heart, I finally understood the meaning of those simple, quaint, old lyrics.

Prayer keeps my heart in tune.
Waiting patiently for God's answers maintains my heart.
I have an important job in remaining prayerful in preparation for Jesus' return, alert and ready to recognize him.

Big things from such a little song.

Thank you, Opal, for planting seeds that sprouted and took root.  Thank you for sharing the gospel simply and with your whole heart.  You saw fields available for planting and moved right along, reaching out in the ways you knew, with your Bible in hand and a prayer on your lips.

Thank you, dear lady, for doing what God called you to do.

Budgeting: How It Began the Hard Way

Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. 

Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost 

to see if he has enough money to complete it?  

~~Luke 14:28

In the Beginning

As I save like a miser for our daughter's college costs, I wonder how much easier we might have it now if I had discovered Zero-Based Budgeting years ago.  I feel freer now than when I was flying by the seat of my pants (which sounds free, but is seriously, painfully NOT), but do have much regret at not practicing good financial stewardship from the very start of my experience with money.

After starting a 529 fund for our children several years ago, we allowed it to idle, fueled with only a few contributions.  Now, I operate in scrimping and saving mode, watching our money grow in somewhat steady amounts throughout the year. That money belongs to college.  Already.  Predestined, if you will.  We could have had a different experience.

"Live and learn" makes for some hard truth!

We have so far succeeded in funding a large portion of the first two years' college costs, covering more than I ever imagined possible, thanks to budgeting and that tottering 529 fund. While I am a saver by nature, a deal-seeker, a hawk keeping close eye on the clearance racks, ashamedly, I have fallen from my perch a few times in life. I fell prey to an "I'm saving, but I'm the only one ... and so give me my due" attitude, even helping to bring about a financial tribulation which, once in, I felt sure I could conquer alone, without God's or human help.  My reasons for the cavalier, Lone Ranger thinking make sense, but they did not convert to real life -- because I had no one on my team but Me, Myself, and I.

Pride 
got involved and a fall happened. 

Pride acts like that, always.

Fast-forward 10 years from that point to an basic introduction of Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace" concept of budgeting, debt snowball, saving, and giving.  I am no pro, but tips from Dave transformed our budget and our bank account, and have allowed us to pay almost half of our older child's college costs without crawling along, gasping for breath, or starving.

We have a good measure of freedom (not luxury, not extravagance, no unchecked spending), and can do even better with some more denial of "want". Like the Israelites, I need to review the lessons I learned and remember where God rescued me whether it felt good or not.  Some of these lessons and rescues include:

- free-wheeling in the grocery aisles, even with a list
- setting variable or no limits on purchases (never knowing how much we really spent each month)
- using a debit card and not tracking it most of the time
- tracking but not budgeting
- not offering full disclosure to my husband to protect him (from stress), and me (from his reaction)
- paying larger bills (driveway sealing, auto repairs, new appliances) without planning for them
- calculating the balance in the checking account with worry, fear, and sense of unknown
- feeling relief or upset when our checking account held, never knowing for sure
- not saving an emergency fund, or even enough for a few bills
- living in denial of the future
- using credit cards in lieu of cash
- not seeing God's guidance, provision, or grace

Surely, someone else's list will look a little different. Personally, I did not have vices in my life.  I have no desire for expensive items, no spoiling of children, no habits or collections.  Still, I failed to steward to the best of my ability.  After years of vigilant watch over our funds, I fell asleep at my post.

Not paying attention to the flow of cash allows it to meander unchecked and trickle away aimlessly.

I Saw the Light

One important step toward bridging the gap between freeform finance and living on a budget means taking a serious look at our largest expenditures.  Dave Ramsey insists that no more than 25% of our income go toward housing expenses (including utilities), and we are good on that point. My #1 expenditure -- grocery shopping. I enjoy grocery shopping.  I would gleefully take on that task for others.  I look forward to every Thursday, aka Grocery Day.  I have never met a grocery store I didn't like in some way, even as a one-product stop. I heart grocery shopping.

I started there.

After plowing through Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover three years ago, I gathered 6 months of grocery receipts (I keep receipts from the past year for every purchase in case of returns, exchanges, and reality checks) and added each month's spending, then calculated an average.  Without any idea how or if it would work, I took that average and cut it in half.  HALF.  No joke, a 50% cut in grocery spending.  It felt unnerving, and it felt unworkable.  It felt like I had pulled a number out of the air.  I pictured our family sharing the last tablespoonful of milk.

Drastic.

That Thursday, I got face-to-screen with our bank's ATM and withdrew only that calculated amount in cash. I proceeded to stick to my written grocery list the way someone might adhere carefully to a new diet, without glancing at any other items in the store.  I usually shop 3-4 stores each week, straight out of the weekly specials flyers.  I completed those rounds and still had a few spare dollars!

I am not a "praise the Lord" or "hallelujah" type person, but I believe a happy dance occurred within the seat-belted confines of my driver's seat.  Wha-hoooo!  SUCCESS!

I put the extra dollars in a separate area of my wallet like treasure.  Holding extra cash after cutting spending in half felt invigorating and encouraging.  But, could it work longterm?  Was this a fluke?  What chance did I have at making this our new normal?

The answer?  I still do this very same thing, but with one adjustment.  I reduced our weekly grocery budget by $20.

Adjustments happen because life needs adjusting.  When your child picks up an interest in playing the violin, the budget will need space for music lessons.  When you change insurance companies for better rates, you will need to place the surplus somewhere in your budget -- such as "Savings" or "College".

Realize you will make mistakes in under or over-calculating the needs of a certain month or week.  And, yes, I have gone over-budget on a handful of occasions when I don't predict an event on the horizon, or find a tremendous price on ground round and stock my freezer.  It does feel easier as the months go by, and it feels comfortable now.  I can breathe, I don't have the zing of worry when the bank statement arrives, and I have joy in tithing to our church, giving more generously, and planning for our family's future.

Keeping tabs on all spending makes the difference between guess-and-go and telling our money where to go with confidence.


Cash Flow to Go

With information from Dave Ramsey's "envelope system," I work my cash system to correspond to the two-week pay period of my husband's job.  Every other Thursday, I withdraw cash for groceries, activities, clothing, and entertainment.

Example:
      $150.00 Week One groceries
      $150.00 Week Two groceries
      $160.00 entertainment, take-out, miscellaneous
      $30.00 lessons and school activities
      $100.00 vacation savings
      $25.00 "play" money

Depending on your life needs, you may have more or fewer envelopes to work with, and that's just fine.  As long as you're directing your money, and not allowing it to drag you along for the wild ride, your envelope decisions grow more and more personal, and less and less awkward.  The newness will wear off in a few months and you'll wonder how you handled money any other way.

Reminder:  I do not promote myself as either expert or teacher on this subject, but another traveler on the multi-lane, fast-moving, and pot hole-filled financial highway.  After much prayer and study on the subject, I found budgeting as the road less traveled and far, far easier to navigate.  Pot holes seem smaller, and life's traffic has slowed down a great deal.

Zero-Based Budgeting really makes a difference in our life.  Cash flows where we direct it, and any income level can find a way to pay off debt, save for emergencies, and spend wisely and purposefully.    Good stewardship feels easier for some than for others.  The following verse keeps me in check, as I focus daily on trusting the One who provides for our family.

A greedy man stirs up dissension, 

but he who trusts in the LORD will prosper.  ~~Proverbs 28:25 

Technology or No Technology, That Is the Question!

How did we travel without GPS? How did we communicate long-distance? How did we entertain ourselves while waiting? How did we locate information we wanted to complete tasks and answer questions?  Some days I wonder, how did we do anything without our hand-held devices?

This might come as a surprise -- we used to use our brains and a variety of resources to draw conclusions, solve problems, infer, build connections, and make decisions.  All on the power of our own brains working with the information we found in the world around us.  And, we communicated differently, and in my memory, a lot more than we do now.

Our family uses technology on a daily basis, and in one marked way, probably differently from most families. With an often-traveling husband and dad, we rely on technology to stay connected in the day-to-day that our Business Traveler misses too often, and he, in turn, keeps us apprised of his whereabouts, discoveries, and beautiful or interesting sights along his way.  Technology keeps us connected in a good way.  We tune in to each other, share our day, toss a few photos of unique/surprising/funny instances into the ether, and generally know as much of the scoop as possible from hundreds or thousands of miles away.  We think about each other, and want to maintain closeness when distance changes our relationships.

So, then we get under the same roof and within the same four walls.  What could be closer?  Do we not chat like long-lost friends and share our thoughts, our discoveries, and our family bond?

Here's where it gets dicey.

Most of our four-some, when physically present, have a tendency to populate the same room but communicate with others outside this space from behind dimly-lit screens. Silence fills the room we actually inhabit, though sometimes chuckling or laughter ensues, but we do not share the joke made by an invisible invader in our home.  We might as well be at a bus stop with strangers. Together, yes, but not connected.

Ugh.

We have the opportunity to spend time together, yet that very technology that unites us divides us.  Reaching into other relationships with anticipation and without warning (no ringing, no talking), we abandon the humans in the moment ... right in front of us ... on the other side of the room.

This scene has hit thousands of relationships with full force, with the power to destroy them.  My dear ones are too dear for me to sit and watch this, and so I stopped watching (occasional relapses, yes, but on the whole, I zip my lips and avert my eyes).  I'm not perfect as I scroll Facebook occasionally, or get lost in a sea of Pinterest-ing recipes.  I try to keep my screen time at a minimum, and use the desktop computer to keep myself accountable for all to see.  Like now.

I used to make comments to my dear people here.  I used to ... ahem ... nag.  I used to give examples of the ill effects technology has on the brain, body, and relationships.  I used to sigh a lot.  I used to walk emphatically in to the kitchen and entertain myself by doing the dishes (most-detested task of all time).

Instead, I am learning to pray on it.

I pull out a book, knit, work on a chapter in my journaling Bible, and pray between the rows or lines as I go.

I get some eye rolls when I mention this tactic, but it's His idea, not mine.  as Matthew 11:28-30 says,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Who am I to question the Father of All?  And I am weary -- of feeling ignored, of receiving complaints, of seeing little or no change in the situation.  And I realize when I try to intervene for the good of love and family, I appear to my loved ones as the squawking seagulls in the animated film, "Finding Nemo."

My dear family sees me wanting it my way, staring them down, waiting impatiently, and demanding.

When I ask God to handle the situation, things happen.  Conversations start.  Screens go dark.  Life begins to hum a little differently.  It's not completely without flaws (these screens call loudly in the the mind, offering immediate feedback with little effort), but my version of initiating change fails and pales in comparison to God Almighty's ways.

Perfect.  All-knowing.  Ever-present.  Full of grace.

Thank you, God, for doing what I cannot, and proving to me that you, as always, are right.

Teriyaki on the Grill: Teriyaki Marinade, Sauce, and How-To

We're enjoying a happy 72 degrees and mostly sunny skies today.  Not usual for early June, but I claim it as a Perfect Day.  Thank you, God!

Summer, even on a cooler day like today, feels like Marinade Season. After the tradition of Memorial Day hotdogs and hamburgers passes like the wildfire May always seems to inflict on my calendar, we need something! Oils, vinegars, seasonings, and other flavorful additions change meats from "usual" to extra mouth-watering.  Simple.  I can make them and tweak them as we like (usually, more garlic).  Oh, yeah.

Teriyaki sauce has made my family happy ever since the kids could barely see above the edge of the kitchen counter top.  Best of all, on-hand ingredients make it cheap and easy to mix on the fly without preservatives, and no MSG or high fructose corn syrup.  Good news all around, I think.

I make the marinade recipe, which turns to sauce with one ingredient and some heat, if you like.  Also, I want to jot down our three favorite ways to enjoy this teriyaki recipe, just because.

Small "if you want to extend the deliciousness"  or "golden nugget recipes" appear highlighted in gold.  You'll find the golden nugget for a small batch of sauce made from the marinade recipe below.



Teriyaki Marinade (sauce-making instructions following)

1/2 c. soy sauce (regular or low-sodium, as you wish)
1/2 c. water
6 T. sugar
3 T. Worcestershire sauce
1-1/2 T. rice vinegar (white works, too)
1-1/2 T. canola oil
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. garlic powder
3/4 tsp. ground ginger

Mix together and refrigerate if not using right away as marinade.
To use as marinade, hop down below the next 6 lines for three more ways to use this recipe.



To make sauce out of all of it:

Add unused marinade to a sauce pan and whisk in 2 tsp. cornstarch.  Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring often.  Heat only until sauce begins to thicken, remove from heat and cool.

To make sauce from 3/4 cup of reserved marinade: 

Add 3/4 cup marinade to a small sauce pan and whisk in 1 tsp. cornstarch.  Bring to boil over medium-high heat, stirring often.  Heat only until beginning to thicken.  Remove from heat and cool.  

1. Chicken Kebobs with Teriyaki Marinade (4 servings)

3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut in 1-1/2-inch cubes

1 recipe Teriyaki Marinade (reserve one cup for making sauce)
1 red onion, cut in sixths, then chop each 1/6th in 3-4 chunks
1 orange pepper cut into 1-1/2-inch chunks
4-5 skewers for grilling kebabs

Two hours before grilling, add cubed chicken to a resealable container or gallon-size baggie, and add all but 3/4 of marinade recipe.  Mix well to coat chicken. Cover/seal and chill until ready to grill. Meanwhile, follow directions for making sauce from reserved marinade (in the golden highlight above).

Before grilling, remove chicken from refrigerator, drain and discard used marinade.  Thread a piece of chicken on the first skewer, and follow with any pattern you like.  Chicken-pepper-chicken-onion, or chicken-pepper-onion.  Repeat until the skewer is full. Fill the next 3-4 skewers.  Preheat your grill, or use a grill pan indoors on the stove top.  Grill over medium-high heat for about 3 minutes, until you see nicely caramelized edges and grill marks.  Turn kebabs 1/3 turn and repeat, then turn a final time until done.

Serve with your choice of side items, and drizzle some of the teriyaki sauce you made earlier.


2. Summer Salad with Teriyaki Chicken (4 servings)

3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 recipe Teriyaki Marinade (reserve 3/4 cup for making sauce)
4 large salads (your choice of greens)
1/2 c. chopped strawberries
1/2 c. blueberries
1 c. mandarin oranges, drained
1/2 c. chopped pecans
Teriyaki Sauce

Two hours or the night before grilling, add chicken and all but 3/4 cup marinade to a resealable container or gallon-size baggie.  Mash it around well to distribute marinade.  Seal and refrigerate until ready to grill.  For making sauce from the reserved marinade, see gold highlighted section above.  When finished thickening, remove from heat to cool, then refrigerate.

When ready to grill, remove chicken from refrigerator, drain and discard used marinade.  Grill chicken breasts over medium-high heat (use outdoor grill or indoor grill pan), cooking for 4-5 minutes per side and no longer pink in the center.  Remove from heat and cut into 1/2-inch cubes.  Set aside.

In four large salad bowls or plates, add salad greens, then divide grilled chicken among the servings.  Top with strawberries, blueberries, mandarin oranges, and pecans.  Drizzle Teriyaki Sauce (reserved) as dressing.


3. Chicken and Broccoli Teriyaki (4-6 servings)

3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
1 recipe Teriyaki Marinade (reserve 1-1/2 c. for making sauce)
2 tsp. cornstarch
canola oil
1 small onion, diced
1 bunch broccoli, cut into florets (add as much as you like)
1/4 c. water
cooked rice (optional, in amount desired)


Two hours or the night before, add cut-up chicken and all but 1-1/2 cups marinade to a resealable container or gallon-size baggie.  Mix well to distribute marinade. Seal and refrigerate until ready to cook.

In a large pan or wok, heat about 1/4 c. canola oil over medium-high heat.  Turn up the heat to high, add drained chicken bites in small batches, so as not to crowd the pan.  Cook, stirring frequently, until chicken bites are almost completely cooked.  Remove to a bowl and repeat small batches with all of the chicken. Add onion to the pan, stirring and cooking about 2 minutes.

Add water to the broccoli, and pour all into the pan, covering immediately to trap steam.  Cook 5 - 7 minutes, covered, until broccoli is tender-crisp.  Add cornstarch to remaining Teriyaki Marinade, whisking well, and add all to the cooking pan.  Cook and stir until sauce thickens.  Serve with rice, if desired.

Teriyaki flavor allows other ingredients in a dish, such as the fruit in the salad, or the vegetables in the other two recipes, to stand a chance of exhibiting their flavors without the sauce taking center stage.

Ahhh, teriyaki.  You do your job well.